Adult Tantrum

The Adult Tantrum

Adult Tantrum
The Adult Tantrum
The Adult Tantrum

Tuesday, 22 May 2012 09:00

As children, our lives were driven by desire. Propelled by an innate sense of entitlement, what we wanted and how we wanted it took precedence over almost everything else. If we didn’t get what we wanted, we took no issue in voicing our indignation to the world.

As children, our lives were driven by desire. Propelled by an innate sense of entitlement, what we wanted and how we wanted it took precedence over almost everything else. If we didn’t get what we wanted, we took no issue in voicing our indignation to the world. Of course, it’s not long before boundaries were put around our desires and we learned to channel them into socially acceptable behavior. While this is arguably necessary to maintain an ordered society, we can easily forget to honor that very special part of our humanity that doesn’t just dissolve once we outgrow childish fits.

But I wanted to be the boss’s first choice. I want her to feel badly for what she did. I want more time and I want more money. I reeeeeally want ice cream. Our desires still have their grip on us. In adults, however, the tantrums of toddlerhood are often internalized and repressed, risking resentment and bad energy. If we look at a child throwing a tantrum, it’s not a pretty sight. It’s irrational and disruptive. But it serves a purpose—wait 5 minutes. For most children, the outburst comes and goes freely and weightlessly. They let it go and move on to the intrinsic desire we all have for peace.

Since we can’t advocate throwing yourself on the floor arching and writhing the next time your boss tells you to work all weekend, we must explore reenacting this release within the framework of a functioning adult society. Make note of your resentments or the times in your day when your inner voice is whining and crying. Find a place to release the pressure and let it go. You can do this with bodywork, self-care rituals, exercise, socialization, alone time, creative expression… anything that can serve to remind you that you are entitled to your experience and reactions, but need not be burdened by them. And here’s a tip: if you can’t figure out how to access this perspective, spend an afternoon with a 2-year-old.

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