The Pain of Comfort
Almost all the pictures I’ve ever taken have been done on my phone. My electronic gadget goes everywhere I do and carries my grocery list, a library of books, all of my CDs and photo albums, my work files, as well as calls, texts, and reads me my daily horoscope. The convenience is numbing. Why would we ever return to the days when a book was a book and not also a flashlight?
Because no app can replace the feel of a well worn book in your hand.
Because a handwritten letter doesn’t need to be charged at night.
Because developed pictures age into their filter over time.
The effort of any creative process is in part what makes it meaningful. Sure, I’m grateful I was able to jot down a note that inspired a series of letters or to capture the image that otherwise would have been lost in memory. But convenience can be a trap.
How often do you go out of your way, test your limits and push past your comfort zone? What experiences have you decided against because it was farther than you thought or more expensive than you planned or weirder than you like?
Comfort becomes a prison when we refuse the new or anything that requires more of us than we’re used to giving.
This topic of comfort came up recently as I was talking to a friend about therapy. He was having a difficult time moving past an old break-up and was struggling to maintain a positive outlook. So a few of us came together to see how we could best support him. We thought bodywork would be a simple way to help him stay present and that talk therapy would help him to work through unprocessed grief, so we did the research and gave him a few resources. What was interesting was that although he so desperately wanted support, he also found clever ways to deflect it. My guess is that his avoidance was a measure of his discomfort. Instead of seeing this as an opportunity to heal, he pushed it further away, which only aggravated the feeling of isolation he was already experiencing.
I wanted to share his story because I think it highlights the subtle ways we all fool ourselves. We may be wanting to make big changes but when it comes down to making the call, sending the note, and showing up for the work, we call in sick.
If nothing changes, then nothing changes. When we no longer reach out to explore new ways of seeing, of being, of interacting with the world, then we lock ourselves within the cell we built with the key around our necks.
One way to move outside your comfort zone is to ask:
What is the one thing you need most to experience living a life of joy?
What kind of support would be absolutely necessary to make this happen?
What is the first step you could take today?
Denmo is the founder and CEO of Earthbody. She is a writer, artist, therapist, and coach. You can reach Denmo here.
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