I’m Officially Married!
Wednesday, 26th November 2014
Three weeks ago I married my beloved. Family and friends gathered for a day of magic. Although no goats were harmed, there was an official sacrifice: Our community of loves gave their time and energy, their cars and cash, their skill, creativity, and talent near and far to celebrate our union.
Because the royal court assembled in its entirety, we were able to step into our seats as king and queen. Our wedding party put their own lives on pause to protect the hell out of us and prepare us for our big day. And holy schmoly, it was flawless.
Every aspect was thoughtful without force and regal without pretense, and embodied absolute beauty. It was as if we had rehearsed the day for years, like it was Denmo and Wesley’s World Tour starring Grace Towers, a local star and beaded lady, as Beyonce. During the processional, the oud strummed and kept a collective heartbeat. The violin cried for all of us. And the tablah kept us moving, driving forward, as if to say yes, you are ready. Now is here.
It was a sunny afternoon so many of our guests wore sunglasses or held parasols, and it was just enough coverage to hide any tears that slipped by. It’s weird to see pictures of the day online at the same time as everyone else, but there you have it. We were stunning, the ritual complete and the feast intoxicating.
Toasts poured in one after another. They were eloquent, intimate, spontaneous, and instructional, which of course made me sob, but thankfully my face stayed put the whole darn day, which I think was one of the many wedding gifts from god. Others included an unrehearsed yet perfectly timed first dance performance, edible centerpieces, a drag princess, and a hula hoop dance off. We had the wedding we wanted. Nothing was obligatory, which feels huge when so many folks are involved.
Although the party went better than expected, it wasn’t the ultimate goal. The point was that we made an alignment together in public and on purpose. This was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Marriage.
What does it mean to marry someone? How can you relinquish personal control for that which will ebb and flow? On some level, union is bad juju for the ego. The ego likes to do things its own way without involving anyone else. But union requires a spiritual leap into the unknown, a constant trust in that which is.
Whatever your relationship status is right now, there’s always the invitation to marry, to give over and give in, and to make a vow.
Denmo is the founder and CEO of Earthbody. She is a writer, artist, therapist, and coach. You can reach Denmo here.
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