I joined a co-working space recently to help change up my routine. I was curious about the folks I shared space with. What consumed their time on laptops and in meetings? There’s the creative director for a startup, the marketing director for a startup, and the three or four startups down the hall. I think to myself: every startup began when people came together and said, that’s brilliant. And isn’t that the magic of a relationship? Let’s make something from nothing.
But throughout history, starting a new venture hasn’t always been so altruistic.
What once was often designed to advance a society has now become capitalistic machinations not built to last, geared to monopolize our attention and money. We are not their customers but their product.
Ads are targeted based on our likes, commercials play unless we pay, and subscription services make it difficult to change habits. The result? Addictive behavior makes for the status quo.
We are addicted to our phones, to the socials, to products that promise to relieve us from our ever-growing anxiety and depression. So we stay “plugged in” but staying connected depletes us our precious time, and zaps us of our energy. Many of us feel empty and we don’t need to look very far to see why.
When is the last time you spent a day without hearing an advertisement, buying an item, or interacting with a brand or business? Can you think of a single day you didn’t see a billboard, or a coupon, and have to close yet another pop-up window to save 10%? The world we live in speaks to us primarily as consumers, not people.
The only times I can recall an ad-free space are the weeks I spent in a meditation retreat.
There is so much noise in life. Everyone is vying for our attention. And they’re winning. With every pull of our focus, multitasking splits us. It is this fragmentation of self and mind to be an incredible loss to our basic humanity.
Either we are distracted, flitting between pleasure or perversion and calling this Life, or learning to shut things out—actively ignoring, and not letting our attention be taken or stolen. But the challenge with blocking out the noise is that might become so good that you also shut out any element of surprise. In my own life, surprise is the gateway experience the world anew.
Brene Brown said vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.
But how do we do it, if our lives are constantly being monetized by a system larger than us?
How do we discern between what to ignore and what to let in?
Can we reclaim our life?
When I look back to the times I’ve felt overworked, and stressed, with too many things to get done and not enough time to do it in, where I reached a breaking point and begged for mercy, I knew then this was not how I wanted to live. To sacrifice well-being in order to get the job done was never going to be something I wanted to master. I blame my youth. I didn’t know then. Now I know better. I know the power of starting small. I know my mind tries to run the show, but it’s lost without my heart, and that in any moment, I can quite simply, return.
For me, the act of returning is the path of relaxation. And relaxation is the ground for a clear mind and an open heart. When we’re stressed, we make bad decisions. We buy things we already own. We live on autopilot.
And the good news is you don’t need anything to relax. You can do it right now! You won’t get in trouble. You don’t need permission. And you already know how. Of course, if you’ve forgotten, that’s okay too. Sometimes we forget so that we can remember. Just take a deep breath (yes, now). Place your hand on your heart and breathe. Repeat until your face softens, time slows down, the sense of urgency releases. Return to your senses.
